For years I have flown with United, I chose But with their ignorance, inflexibility and screwing, I have had it up to my nose. Want to change your flight? It will only break you Oh standby? I thought you might.
Let’s see, flight leaves at one, By one-o-five I’ll tell you, Leaving, or staying for more fun.
The lazy American Slid down the waterspout Paid lots of money To splash all about Out came the Sun “Oh, sunscreen is a pain!” The lazy American Got a sunburn and complained.
The lazy American Wept loudly at the sting Declined responsibility And instead began to sing “Why did this happen? What can I do?” He bought himself some cool cream Which is expensive, too.
Drinking by Amanda Dennis, John Ellison, Milt Geist, Shannon Adler Fall 2007
Hey girlie, take this shot I wanna get you drunk Cause you're really hot Then I'll wrap you in a towel and put you in my trunk.
You can take the vodka or the Bacardi Get in the car, we're startin' a party. We'll drink all day then all night Until you stumble because of your impaired sight.
Don't worry if you don't drink It's not as bad as you think. You can chill in the corner with the fat nerds But they will confuse you with their big words.
So come here and grab some beer Don't you fear your mind will feel clear Because the next day your night's a blank It doesn't matter that everyone knows you're a skank.
NFL Athletes by Sean Burke, Sasha Drury, Brian Krump Fall 2007
(Chorus) Meet me in the jail cell, its goin’ down Meet me in the bedroom, its goin’ down Meet me for some dog fights it’s goin’ down Meet me in the strip club, it’s goin’ down
First we got Vick killin dem dogs Then we got the Patriots actin like hogs And we got Tank Johnson with all his guns Plus we got Pac shootin all them huns Next come OJ back in troublw with the popo While Travis Henry is smoking that coco Good ol Rodney Harrison poppin dem pills Again we got Pacman throwin dem bills And we got the Bengals always in jail Good thin they’re in the NFL, can afford bail Plus there’s Brandon Marshall with the DUI Better than his teammates who are getting high
(Chorus) Meet me in the jail cell, its goin’ down Meet me in the bedroom, its goin’ down Meet me for some dog fights it’s goin’ down Meet me in the strip club, it’s goin’ down
Reality TV by Jessy Bright, Ashley Lambert, Christine Davenport AP L&C Period 2 October 23, 2007
When Bob’s sitting around watching TV Here are some shows that he might see. Super nanny taking the fun away, Trading his wife in hip-hip-hurray! Simon thinks that she can’t sing But on the bachelor she got the ring.
And later on that night Bob got a real big fright When he saw his ex with Tyra Banks. But she got fired for being a skank So she went on Extreme Makeover And got herself a big cake over.
The newlywed husband didn’t like it So she packed and went home to Bob, And ordered him to get up and get a dirty job. No one would hire him because he was fat, So he went on the Biggest Loser and lost all of that.
Now Bob’s at home, Skinny and alone. He learned through the stream That reality TV is just a big scheme!
8 comments:
Airlines
Satire Poem by Devin Pullara
Fall 2007
For years I have flown with United, I chose
But with their ignorance, inflexibility and screwing,
I have had it up to my nose.
Want to change your flight?
It will only break you
Oh standby? I thought you might.
Let’s see, flight leaves at one,
By one-o-five I’ll tell you,
Leaving, or staying for more fun.
The Tightrope Absurdity
by Ali Harden, Sarah Palmer, Aubry Pullara
Fall 2007
The circus is an evil place
I want to douse the tent in mace
The clowns all dress with big red noses
Oh, those circus freaks and their crazy poses
The big fat ring leader, what a creep
He makes those giant elephants leap
Lions, Tigers and Bears, OH MY!
If they could, I think they’d cry
A happy circus animal does not exist
If the circus were gone it would not be missed
Animal cruelty is what it’s all about
For our “joy and entertainment”, it makes me pout
Those trapeze artists swinging in the air,
It’s super dangerous but they don’t care
So say goodbye to sticky floors
A circus mess, just close the doors
I’m writing you this crazy letter
Go see the rodeo, their animals are treated so much better!
Americano Loco
by Jenny Smith
Fall 2007
The lazy American
Slid down the waterspout
Paid lots of money
To splash all about
Out came the Sun
“Oh, sunscreen is a pain!”
The lazy American
Got a sunburn and complained.
The lazy American
Wept loudly at the sting
Declined responsibility
And instead began to sing
“Why did this happen?
What can I do?”
He bought himself some cool cream
Which is expensive, too.
Drinking
by Amanda Dennis, John Ellison, Milt Geist, Shannon Adler
Fall 2007
Hey girlie, take this shot
I wanna get you drunk
Cause you're really hot
Then I'll wrap you in a towel and put you in my trunk.
You can take the vodka or the Bacardi
Get in the car, we're startin' a party.
We'll drink all day then all night
Until you stumble because of your impaired sight.
Don't worry if you don't drink
It's not as bad as you think.
You can chill in the corner with the fat nerds
But they will confuse you with their big words.
So come here and grab some beer
Don't you fear your mind will feel clear
Because the next day your night's a blank
It doesn't matter that everyone knows you're a skank.
McDonald’s
by Megan Scheidt, Chrissy Homsher, Kyle Newman
Fall 2007
McDonald’s, McDonald’s, where art thou McDonald’s?
On every street corner
Shining your golden arches
Down on the poor, helpless people.
The healthy choices you offer
Make America what it is.
Without you, McDonald’s, we would be nothing,
For we would be significantly smaller.
The splendor of thy décor
Is the envy of every other joint.
We give thanks in the form of tithing
To keep our beloved McDonald’s bright and shining.
NFL Athletes
by Sean Burke, Sasha Drury, Brian Krump
Fall 2007
(Chorus)
Meet me in the jail cell, its goin’ down
Meet me in the bedroom, its goin’ down
Meet me for some dog fights it’s goin’ down
Meet me in the strip club, it’s goin’ down
First we got Vick killin dem dogs
Then we got the Patriots actin like hogs
And we got Tank Johnson with all his guns
Plus we got Pac shootin all them huns
Next come OJ back in troublw with the popo
While Travis Henry is smoking that coco
Good ol Rodney Harrison poppin dem pills
Again we got Pacman throwin dem bills
And we got the Bengals always in jail
Good thin they’re in the NFL, can afford bail
Plus there’s Brandon Marshall with the DUI
Better than his teammates who are getting high
(Chorus)
Meet me in the jail cell, its goin’ down
Meet me in the bedroom, its goin’ down
Meet me for some dog fights it’s goin’ down
Meet me in the strip club, it’s goin’ down
PSAT
by Jennifer Weidner, Olivia Crellin, Monique Rodriguez
Fall 2007
Hand over twenty dollars
Pay for someone’s scholarship
Only a true scholar
Would fall for such a rip…off
Take this practice packet
Prepare for the practice test
So when you take the SAT
You’ll have already done your best
And with your 1600 score
You’ll apply to college
Only to discover
While pondering answers
Is it “a” or is it “b”?
Ask yourself
Was it worth every penny?
Reality TV
by Jessy Bright, Ashley Lambert, Christine Davenport
AP L&C Period 2
October 23, 2007
When Bob’s sitting around watching TV
Here are some shows that he might see.
Super nanny taking the fun away,
Trading his wife in hip-hip-hurray!
Simon thinks that she can’t sing
But on the bachelor she got the ring.
And later on that night
Bob got a real big fright
When he saw his ex with Tyra Banks.
But she got fired for being a skank
So she went on Extreme Makeover
And got herself a big cake over.
The newlywed husband didn’t like it
So she packed and went home to Bob,
And ordered him to get up and get a dirty job.
No one would hire him because he was fat,
So he went on the Biggest Loser and lost all of that.
Now Bob’s at home,
Skinny and alone.
He learned through the stream
That reality TV is just a big scheme!
Post a Comment